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Eric Dane he opened up about the history with him Rebecca Gayheart – from start to finish – a new memory, My Book of Days.
“We were married for 14 years, we grew apart, filed for divorce, but we never got around to signing the papers,” Dane wrote in his book, which was published posthumously on Tuesday, November 3.
The couple tied the knot in 2004, later welcoming daughters Billie and Georgia before Gayheart filed for divorce in 2018. They went on to live “separate lives,” according to Dane, but their divorce was never final.
When Dane was diagnosed with ALS in 2024, Gayheart was one of the first people he called. She supported him and their daughters through his health battle until his death earlier this year at the age of 53.
In the book’s acknowledgments, Dane gave a final shout-out to Gayheart, writing, “I can’t thank you enough.”
Scroll down for the biggest revelations about Dane and Gayheart’s relationship from his memoir:
Making the Lock
Dane recalled calling Gayheart after learning of his official diagnosis. “I say to Rebecca on the phone, ‘That’s what we were afraid of,'” he wrote. “I don’t remember a single word I said after that. I just remember feeling a violent impact, like having the wind knocked out of me, and Rebecca crying on the other end of the phone, and then really losing it… I hear her words pouring out through her tears, ‘I’m here, we’ll fight this together, I’m not going anywhere.'”
The actor added, “She will go above and beyond to keep her word. Rebecca will stay by my side, unwavering, my rock, my hero.”
The Moment They Met
Dane recalled crossing paths with Gayheart at a party in 1999, noting that he was “laser-focused” and “smiling” at her as she danced.
“I keep an eye on her and, my eyes are still on her, I lean down to the woman near me, a friend, and I say, ‘I’m going to marry that girl,'” he wrote.
Unfortunately, the friend told Dane that they were at a party for Gayheart’s girlfriend at the time. Dane and Gayheart were introduced at the last bar and parted ways.
Almost four years later, the two happened to bump into each other at a coffee shop. “I look at her finger. There’s no ring,” Dane recalled.
The pair struck up a “whirlwind romance” over their love of sweets and were “very inseparable”.
The Marriage Proposal
One day in October 2004, less than a year after they started dating, Dane said he wanted to get married but wasn’t interested in a wedding. Gayheart agreed, and Dane suggested that they go to Las Vegas.
The couple immediately caught a plane and went to the nearest chapel, asking their cab driver to be their witness.
“Rebecca and I look into each other’s eyes and promise to love each other until death do us part,” Dane wrote. “Okay, a little on the nose. Who knew?”
The relationship between Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart was not always smooth, but their daughters were always their guiding light. The pair tied the knot in 2004 and expanded their family in March 2010 with the birth of daughter Billie. Their second daughter, Georgia, was born in December 2011. Gayheart filed for divorce in February 2018, […]
Starting their family
In 2009, Gayheart “really” wanted to have a family, but Dane admitted he was “on the fence” between his Grey’s Anatomy success
“We get busy and we get pregnant, but we have miscarriages,” Dane wrote. “Then we get pregnant again, and we have a second birth. Rebecca starts to get worried about time passing, getting older, so we start IVF and get pregnant a third time – and we have a third birth.”
While Gayheart thought the loss was “his fault,” Dane got tested and realized he was “the problem.” The couple continued to try to conceive but were unsuccessful – until Dane suggested a “change of scenery.”
“It’s working,” he wrote, noting that the couple went on a beach getaway. “Rebecca will be pregnant the night we check.”
Daughters Billie and Georgia were born in 2010 and 2011, respectively.
“Rebecca is the model mother. I thank her every day for the time she puts in, the love and attention she shows to our children,” Dane wrote later in the book. “I miss so much, and that tugs at my heart.”
When the marriage ends
According to Dane, the pair’s “marriage fell apart” around 2018, with Gayheart feeling the pressure of his long work hours and “complications” from his addiction battle.
Dane recalled that she told a mediator to give Gayheart “whatever she needs” so that there would be no “changes” in her life. The two “move into separate homes” and “live separate lives,” but Dane admitted that their dynamic was not normal.
“We leave our marriage, but we don’t leave our family,” he wrote. “Rebecca and I aren’t a couple anymore. Well, except sometimes, when we can’t help ourselves. Most of the time, almost always, we’re not a couple. But we’re always family.”
For Dane, it seemed “very simple” to get along for their children. Gayheart took full care, with their daughters living with her to eliminate “schlepping back and forth from house to house.” They continued to spend holidays as a family and travel together, which Dane thought their children “upset”.
Dane and Gayheart continued their lives, but divorce papers were never filed. “I maintain that we are simply forgetting,” he wrote.
The Battle of ALS
Dane praised Gayheart for staying by his side as his health declined, calling her his “best friend”.
“She drops by every day, early in the morning, late at night, sometimes in the middle of the night when she knows I won’t sleep,” he wrote. “She is the person I call, the one I go to when I need to talk, when I need to scream, when I need to cry.
