Conservative commentator Tucker Carlson (Jeremy Culhane) dropped by “Weekend Update” during tonight’s “Saturday Night Live” season 52 premiere to shed some light on this year’s biggest summer movies.
“We will find our seats, silence our cell phones and abandon Christian values,” Culhane’s Carlson said at the top of the segment. When “Weekend Update” co-host Colin Jost asked him if he had seen Christopher Nolan’s “The Odyssey” last summer, Carlson replied, “Oh yes. ‘The Odyssey’ in IMAX 70mm. That’s right.”
Culhane’s Carlson turned his attention to the biggest movie of the summer, “Spider-Man: Brand New Day.” Unfortunately, the conservative pundit found enough to dislike Tom Holland’s latest Spider-Man outing on the big screen.
“Everyone loves ‘Spider-Man: Brand New Gender.’ Spider-They, Spider-Them, use whatever bathroom it looks like,” Carlson joked. Moments later, he ordered the “SNL” audience to “stop” clapping after noting that Holland and “Brand New Day” co-star Zendaya got married this year.
“I now pronounce you Mr and Mrs… Huh? She refused to take his last name?” Carlson Culhane asked. When Jost noted that Zendaya “doesn’t have a last name,” Carlson asked, “But where did it go? And who took it? And why? Sorry, kids, you don’t get two names anymore! You only get one name! Like a dog! That’s the rule. That’s the goal now.”
You can watch the full “SNL” segment for yourself below.
Carlson found a lot wrong with “Obsession,” the biggest surprise box office hit of the year. The film follows a young man (Michael Johnson) whose use of a wish-granting device to make his crush (Inde Navarrette) fall in love with him leads to increasingly dangerous consequences. Conservative reporter Culhane called it left-wing propaganda.
“The Left’s idea of a horror movie is that a woman has to love a man. ‘Oh no! Help! I’m being chased by a heterosexual relationship!'” he joked, asking, “Is this what we want? I’m not.
“I’ve lost my train of thought,” Carlson Culhane later admitted, only to continue asking, “But where did he go? Why?” Moments later, he noted that it was a “big summer” for “Minions & Monsters” — just to clarify that it No talking about the “Despicable Me” animated spin-off.
“I’m talking about the Trump cabinet,” he said, mimicking Carlson’s real-life take on the Trump administration. “That’s right. I’ve turned Trump. I’m so brave!”
